Here comes the 2010 Mr. Mom.

In an effort to make this post a bit more interesting... I'm going to put this out there. 

The betting pool is now open.  Huh?  Oh ya!  The pool is open.  How many diapers do you think I'm going to change before I return to work in 2011?  If you didn't know already, I am officially starting my Parental Leave as of 12:00:01am Saturday, August 14th.

Why you might ask?  And thus spawns the title of this post.  Asha goes back to work Monday and Mr. Mom takes over.  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?  No jokes!  It's all me baby... baby.

Perhaps Michael Keaton did it right?  He was forced into the whole stay at home, take care of the kids, Mr. Mom thing.  Do you know what I'm talking about?  Mr. Mom... Movie... 1983 comedy... When the auto factory he works for in Detroit is taken over by the Japanese... and he gets laid off in that quintessential 80's recession fashion.  Oh booo hooo.  Poor is me.  I'll find a job faster than my wife can.  Blah blah blah.  Then Teri Garr (the mom) goes back to work in the corporate world of advertising... I think.  And good ol' Michael Keaton... well he gets to take care of the kids.  But not by choice!  I have a choice.

This is my short-term future.   Feed, entertain, poop, sleep.  Feed, entertain, poop, sleep.  If that was me - I would simply say 'Sweeeeeet!'  But its not.  So bring on the baby!

More frighteningly is that this is Devin's future for the next 20 weeks or so.  OUCH - right?  Dev and Dad.  Dad and Dev.  He's stuck with me!  The removal of the awesome mommy saftey net is happening and we're going solo. 

Not gonna lie.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  Not even going to pretend I actually have a clue how to raise Devin without Asha's incredible naturing and parenting. 

Asha.  Now she knows what she's doing.  Watching Asha and Devin together is like watching ballet dancers dance an elaborate allegro.  One completely in tune with the other's moves, queues and patterns.

Insert Fumblina and an akward crashing sound as the entire ballet set falls to pieces.  Yes - that would be me.  But Dev and I will persevere.  As parents we have the greatest child on Earth.  He makes it easy.  I'm pretty sure I can do this. 

A number of my co-workers have been saying - "have a great vacation" - like I'm going to sunny Cuba and staying at an all inclusive resport!?!  People!  I'm going to be in Milton.  At home.  With my son.  24 X 7. 

This isn't a vacation!  Ok - maybe its a bit of a vacation.  ;)

Goodbye Government.. see ya in 2011.

CUTEST BABY EVER!

First steps... ok... well kinda baby steps

We had an awesome visit with Uncle Jeff, Aunt Sio and cousins Parker and Paige on Saturday.  Uncle Jeff decided it was time to start walking. 

I think its time for him to get a job.  Baby steps I guess.  Baby steps.

Not bad for three and a half months right?

Now try to imagine him at 2 years.  DAMN!  Look out Usian Bolt!

Is there such a thing as a cool lullabye?

Ok. This may be the coolest thing to happen to children's music since the invention of music itself. Move over Disney! Get outta the way Sounds of Nature! Bite me Mozart! Die Wiggles! Seriously... die.

One of my many fears in bringing a child into this world is my inability to listen to children's music. It's horrible. And I know Ash agrees. Don't get me wrong, I know where the creators and producers of it are going. Its simple, its repetitive, its basic, its "fun". Its designed to stimulate and encourage growth within the child and assist them in cognitive learning and vocal playback development. Hell - just saying that makes me want to listen to the crap. Perhaps there's still a fighting chance for my growth and development too. ;)

That said... to me it's like finger nails being run down a chalk board. Let's face it, it just sounds GOD-AWFUL! Boop, beep, click, rattle, boom, pow, click, zing, ahhhhhhh, errrrrrrrrr, GRRRRRRRR!

So there I was last month perusing the Inter-web for childrens lullabye's. I've read the importance of babies having music / white noise / sounds of nature played for them to lull them to sleep. It works. I've seen it in action with my neice and nephew. Oh how music can soothe the savage beast.

Back to the Inter-web... Needless to say, I found a tonne of stuff. Both good and bad. Really bad.

There were cd's offered by every Tom, Dick and Harry who had access to a flute and thought they could easily make a buck off of a children's CD. FYI - 99% of these people should be shot. Don't quit your day job jerk-face.

There was "The Sounds of The Grand Canyon". I say huh? "Sounds by the Sea". Great. Nothing will soothe your child like the sounds of a squawking seagull or the cling-clanging of a water buoy! Genious!

Would it and could it be possible to raise a happy and healthy baby, while at the same time preserving any last chance at my musical sanity? I feared the answer was no. Devin would have to grow up listening to weird and wretched tunes of yester-years gone by.

"The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round. 'Round and round." Kill me now.

But yes. Yes it would be possible! Because then I found this.

Have you ever heard of Rock-a-bye Baby? No? I'm not talking about the good ole' - Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top... blah blah blah. I'm talking about ROCK-A-BYE BABY - BABY!

If you are a parent, then you have to click this link. ROCK-A-BYE BABY Trust me! YOU HAVE TO CLICK THIS LINK! Just do it! Then click on the pink album.... it's frickin' Journey! Jounrey!

Someone out there totally gets me. And God bless them! Everything from Kayne West to U2 to ACDC to The Rolling Stones! All done as nursery rhymes / lullabyes. C'mon! Too awesome!

Thus far, I've managed to "acquire" 32 albums and still counting. Devin - you can thank Daddy later. Perhaps when we're singing a lullabye to Coldplay's Clocks kiddo or Bob Marley's You Could Be Loved.

So one last plug for the company. www.rockabyebabymusic.com Thank you! Thank you so much!

FYI - had to insert a pic. Our kid rocks. Devin hugging Blue Bear. Awesome pic honey. Man my kid is cute.

Mommy is the world... and Daddy is basically tolerable

I love it. There's nothing quite like the bond between a mommy and her baby. To baby, Mommy is everything. Personal security personnel. The provider of shelter. Entourage and rock star rolled into one. The giver of food. Mommy's there for every beck-and-call and to take care of every requirement needed. Mommy is like GOD!

Mommy is the world and whole world within which baby resides. And if this photo doesn't showcase that, then I don't know what will.



And then there's Daddy. The guy who shows up out of the blue (what can I say, bills need to be paid) and tries to take Mommy time away from the babe. I think Dev know's who I am. Or I should say... I think Dev knows I'm around quite often. But I don't think he really knows "who" I am. He tolerate me, but man oh man... He LOVES MOMMY.

His eyes light up at the slightest sound of mommy's voice and his face becomes this canvass of happy desire.

His biggest let-down? When he hears mommy and I end up picking him up.

Mommy: 1. Daddy: Zero.

Happy Canada Day!

Soooooooooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.

Happy Canada Day everyone!

I AM A SOCCER MOM!?!

I tried to find the coolest image of the vehicle I could. This is the result. :( I still don't feel much better and it doesn't look nearly this cool in our driveway.



A Dodge Journey RT. Like Master P said - Make Em Say "Uhhh!". This makes you say "Uggggghhh!". 7 seater. V6. 235-horsepower engine that achieves 16-mpg in the city and 24-mpg on the highway. Power everything. It Dodge's crossover. Not quite a SUV, not quite a mini-van. 30GB hard drive. Navigation, sounds system and heated leather seats. Did I mention it seats 7? Do you know what else seats 7 passengers? A mini-van. A soccer-mom mini-van.

Do you know what I used to drive? A 2006 Dodge Charger RT HEMI! A Hemi. V8. 345 brake horsepower. 390 lbs of foot torque. That's an angry car people. That's a fast car. Only received 1 speeding ticket the entire time I owned that bad boy. Asha... well let's just say, I may have the lead-foot, but she's appraently got a - what's denser than a lead-foot? Ha! A tungsten-foot! Needless to say, I have 1 ticket. Asha has ????



So goodbye my friend. Goodbye brother. Goodbye purveyor of good times and brakeneck speeds.

Hello parenthood.

Expiration Dates

Is that not the cutest kid you've ever seen? I know I'm biased and all, but seriously, our kid is friggin' cute! Almost ridiculously so. The other day I was at the grocery store and happened upon a good looking couple shopping. Being the curious guy that I am, I felt the need to do a quick compare and contrast of their child to ours. MAN! Bamn! The kid was ugly. Babies are supposed to be cute right? They're babies for the love of God... their all cute. NOPE! This kid was uggggg-o. I mean in comparison to Devin. The kid was kind of cute (in that way that only a mother could love him / her). ;)

On to Expiration Dates: Is that cheese or milk in the frige really THAT bad? C'mon, I mean really?

I continue to learn new things as Ash and I delve further into parent-dom, like respecting expiration dates. In my former bachelor life, an expiration date was like a suggestion. As long as you were close to that date, the stuff was still good. Bah - Expiration Date... A "Suggestion Date" is what I used to call it. Beacuase let's think about this, does milk really go bad on the day it "Expires". Hell no. I've drank the stuff weeks after its "Expired" and I'm still here.

Did you know I used to work in a grocery store? The stuff we put up on the shelf or back on the shelf and sold to customer would send any germophobe into a complete tizzy. I'm talking off-the-charts, calling-the-government-on-yo'-ass, ridiculous. I guess it was at that point I realized Expiration Dates are mere whimsical thoughts. A borometer with which a person can a take a chance and roll the dice on a food item that may or may not kill them.

"What doesn't kill you, just makes you stronger." "No harm - no foul."

And this was a great maxim to live by when being both single and responsible for the crap I put into my body. A quote from a good friend's high-school yearbook - "So many chemicals... so little time." As a parent or self-respecting adult, feel free to shake your head. Funny at that time, not so funny anymore.

Devin. Put a baby in your care and frivilous nature becomes something of the past. I long for the care free days of eating eggs 2 weeks past expiry. Just cook em up. That oughtta kill any harmful stuff. But now. Now, there's Dev.

Here's how much things have changed. Dev is getting a couple ounces a day of formula. I'm trying to allevaite some of the nursing stress that Ash is carrying by feeding him once or twice a day from the bottle. Which by the way, Dev is completely cool with. No nipple confusion. He's a pro.

The formula has a shelf life of approximately 48 hours. And some days are better than others. No need for the bottle what-so-ever. This results in wasted formula. Bachelor Rob would have said "Screw it! Roll the dice baby!" But now an actual baby is involved. Somehow, someway, and at some-point... you have to respect the Expiration Date.

Hugs and kisses,
Rob & Ash