Prenatal Classes - Ready to be a parent?!?!

Is anyone every really ready?

If you have never done them and you stil managed to successfully birth a child (or five) - you are my hero. The primary thing I learned in attending this two-day crash course on preganacy, labour and raising a child is - I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT PREGNANCY, LABOUR AND RAISING A CHILD. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD... I WANT TO NAME THE KID CAPTAIN.

Clearly I am not fit to be a parent. Thank the lord this kid is going to have Asha. That my friends is a "fit" parent. I'll end up being the ying to her yang.

So we ended up taking prenatal classes last weekend in Oakville (www.birthingandbabies.com). Yes I'm giving this lady a shout-out. The instructor / nurse was great. Informative, responsive, caring and truly believed in what she was doing. It drives faith that this process of birthing is actually humanly possible.

Couple other noted (mostly disturbing) facts from the course:
A Fundus is the top portion of the uterus. I'm easing you into this.
Episiotomy is a small surgical incision of the perineum made to enlarge the vaginal opening. Yup - that still makes me shudder. In layman's terms - its cutting the vagina. Oh my lord. Men - we should bow to women... for they truly are the better / tougher sex.
Baby's are really ugly when they are born. Those knitted baby-caps they get... that's because their head is frickin' deformed. No - not just because it looks cute.

Lastly: Our Established Labour Panic Routine Should Ash Panic
1. Establish eye-to-eye contact (I apologize for what I have done)
2. Hold your partner firmly (Close enough that she can only "dirty" box with me)
3. Breathe with your partner (Hee hee - whoooooooo - apparently this works)
4. Reassure your partner (That its not entirely my fault - it takes 2 to tango)
5. Ad Lib (Punch Rob and blame him for all of this)

Baby-bump picture coming soon.